He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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