I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
