:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
