I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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