I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
