I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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