woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
