I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
