Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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