Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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