this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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