Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
