My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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