Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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