what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
