Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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