i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
