i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
