help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
