So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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