Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
