i think my mom watched the whole time
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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