I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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