I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm bleeding and have questions
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