Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
