I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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