Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
