What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
