wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
love makes seman taste better
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
