people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Never joke about your clitoris.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
