That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
