I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Randomize
