So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
