If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
