Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
