Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
