that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Say something about gay babies.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
