just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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