what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
