It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
