Umm I'm too high to move.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
