Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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