drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
