You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
