Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
