Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
