we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
