Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize