I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
