My room smells like vodka and shame
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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