Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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